Facts, Thoughts, and Feelings

Did you know your brain likes to make up stories and feed them to you? Did you realize that those stories create feelings that can leave you feeling stuck? It is so important to be onto our brains, especially when you suddenly find yourself feeling intense emotions. Why? Because emotions are feelings, and they are usually caused by a thought. If you learn to hunt down those thoughts, you will learn to better manage the feelings.

What is a Fact?

A fact is the same as a circumstance. It is factual and could be proven in a court of law. It’s a truth everyone could agree upon. Circumstances are objective, verifiable pieces of information. They are things that everyone would agree are true, regardless of their personal beliefs or experiences. For example, the fact that your spouse has passed away is a fact or circumstance.

What is a Thought?

Thoughts, on the other hand, are subjective and personal. They are the stories you tell yourself about the circumstances of your life. Thoughts are not always based on facts and can be influenced by your emotions and past experiences. For example, you may have the thought that your life is over now that your spouse has passed away. This thought is not a fact, but rather a story you are telling yourself about your circumstance.

What Is a Feeling?

Feelings are the emotions you experience in response to your thoughts about your circumstances. They are not caused by the circumstances themselves, but rather by our interpretation of those circumstances. Feelings are always attached to a thought. For example, the thought that your life is over may cause you to feel overwhelmed, sad, or even hopeless.

Understanding the Difference

Understanding the difference between facts, thoughts, and feelings can help you gain clarity and control over your emotions. By recognizing when your thoughts and feelings are based on assumptions or biases rather than facts, you can challenge these beliefs and develop a more accurate and helpful perspective.

By challenging your thoughts and examining the facts, you can create a more balanced and accurate view of your circumstances. You are, in essence, putting on your Sherlock Holmes cap and doing the detective work. This can help you move forward with greater clarity and purpose, even in the midst of grief and uncertainty.

As a widowed person, it’s important to acknowledge and accept your feelings, even if they are not based on facts. Grief is a complex process, and it’s normal to experience a range of emotions as you navigate your loss. However, by understanding the difference between facts, thoughts, and feelings, you can develop a more helpful and accurate perspective on your situation. This can help you move forward with greater resilience and self-awareness.

Remember, you can do this, and I’m here to help.


P.S. If you want to take a deeper dive, let’s connect and see how I can help you. You can schedule a call with me or send me a message here or via Facebook or Instagram @Navigating Widowhood.

Julie Martella Avatar

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