Have you ever heard the phrase form follows function? It’s a biggie in the world of architecture. Architects determine the function of a building, and then allow that function to dictate the physical form. In our life after loss, we can apply this same principal to help us navigate the daily ebb and flow of our new life after loss.
This is an organizing principal I pull from my playbook on a regular basis and you can too. I actually just used it to buy a new vehicle! Imagine how well it can work to help organize your next 24 hours!
Determine what FUNCTIONS need to happen in the next 24 hours. Then, FORM your day according to those functions. This is how you incorporate the principal of intentionality into your life.
For example, maybe you have a day that is packed with activities: work, kids schedules, club meetings, hair appointments, grocery shopping… you name it. These are the functions of your day.
The same thing goes if you have a day that seems to stretch a million miles to nowhere. You can build in functions and structures. These are rituals and routines.
If you are living an unconscious/unintentional life, the form of your day may include a frantic dashing to all of those events, and then you decide it’s a good day to make an elaborate dinner, or lament that the house is a mess. You are frazzled, exhausted, and never fully present because your mind is always racing.
You are flying by the seat of your pants, and while you can survive in that mode, it is no way to live.
When you introduce intentionality into your life, when you construct forms to follow the functions that you need, you create a radically different outcome.
- You remain in a position of power, groundedness and control.
- Your mind is managed, which means it is not frantically racing all the time.
- You have a PLAN for how you will get through your day.
- Things get done.
- At the end of the day you have achieved your goals because you built a day that allowed you to succeed.
So how do you create a masterpiece of form and structure? You become intentional.
You look at all of the functions that need to happen with the best part of your brain, and then build a plan that allows you to accomplish them, and it looks like the following:
If there is too much going on, you move some things to another day.
You call a trusted friend or family member to help pick up kids or complete another task.
You order dinner or meal prep the night before, because you deserve proper nourishment.
You look for areas of overlap, thin margins, and potential conflicts AHEAD OF TIME, and then you fix them.
And, if you have an incredibly chaotic day despite all of the possible modifications, you manage your mind as you move through that day!
You stick to your plan, you remind yourself that at the end of the day all will be accomplished, and you focus on just the next thing that needs to get done!
When your day seems out of control, despite your best efforts, just focus on the very next thing that needs to get done. It will help you manage your mind and thoughts.
I know that in our life after loss things are chaotic! The days can be overly busy OR strangely empty and lacking.
Incorporating intentionality into the planning of your day will allow the form to follow the function, and you will end up with a masterpiece, not a train wreck!
Blessings my friends,
Julie
Navigating Widowhood 