What About the Stuff?

Dealing with your possessions is an integral part of integrating your life before your loss with your life after your loss. Its about remembering, releasing, and embracing.

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What About the Stuff? 

In the beginning of your grief process all of your objects, collections, and things may be of comfort to you. Those items represent your life together, your loved ones dreams and your memories of the past. Having those things around may feel like a warm hug. And that’s perfectly fine.  

All of those items have weight, stories attached and memories. It can be limited to one room, or be spread across your entire home. “Stuff” can also refer to the clutter that has accumulated over a lifetime.  

Dealing with the stuff is the how you start to build bridges.

Your stuff has a story. Honoring and revisiting that story or narrative will help you integrate your past with your present.  It lets your mind clear space and categorize your life.

The physical process of sorting through your story via your things is important too.  You will clear your physical space and categorize and dream about your future.  This process is called decluttering, organizing, or cleaning.  It looks a little different for widows and widowers, but the end result is the same. 

What happens when your feelings about “the stuff” changes? 

You may have come to the place where you either have to downsize and move, or realize that your feelings regarding the “stuff” has changed. And that’s perfectly fine too. It may mean you’re ready to begin the process of integrating widowhood into your life.    

You should know, there will never be a good time to do this work.  You will never be ready!

I also want you to know that taking that deep breath and jumping into the deep end of this process will help you work through the grief. I won’t let you drown!

It is a sacred undertaking and deeply healing.  It will help you integrate your old life with a beautiful new life.  

Sounds easy right? That statement is so wrong in so many ways! The problem is that every step of the process has tremendous emotional weight and heavy thoughts.  My job is to challenge those thoughts so you can complete your integrative rituals: the rituals of remembering, releasing the past, and embracing the possibilities of the future.  

Let’s start with a complimentary 15 minute phone call where we can talk about you, your situation, and your goals.  As always, my warmest regards.

Julie Martella Avatar

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