I’m making an argument for ditching the resolutions! I’m seeing lots of promises on social media and the television that can help you fall in love, be thinner, pay off debt, or, my favorite, make this year the best year ever. What if there was an alternative to a resolution? What if there was another way to look at the new year?

This year I have zero resolutions, and a zero intentions of ever making one again.

This year, I’m changing it up. 

Instead of resolutions that I’m bound to break by then end of the first quarter,  I’m making intentions. An Intention is a direction in which I point myself. A resolution is a specific end goal. It’s like looking for the lost city of gold. 

So how can you find your inner compass and point yourself to your true north this year? 

The Direction of Happiness

I am pointing myself in the direction of happiness. Arthur C. Brooks sums it up beautifully when he says:

Happiness is a direction, not a destination.

Arthur C. Brooks

There is no holy grail that’s going to make you happy. There is no special event, no person, no change in job or geographic location.  When you get stuck in that thought error, then everything becomes focused on getting to that “thing” and THEN being happy.  

What about the rest of the trip? Do we get to be happy along the way or is it like a dreaded roadtrip where you don’t stop until you get there, even if you have to use the bathroom? 

So instead of focusing on “I’ll be happy when….”   Orient your inner compass towards the direction called happiness, and experience it every single day. 

The Direction of Grounding

Ground yourself from within. This doesn’t mean practicing non-attachment per se, although that is a big part of it. The buddhist practice of non-attachment means letting go of your attachment to material possessions, relationships, and even our thoughts and emotions. 

Grounding takes that non attachment and emphasizes not putting your attachments in external things or people. It allows you to take personal control over the one who is responsible for your emotional well-being (and happiness). If you look in the mirror you’ll see. him or her. It’s you. 

Love and relationships a comes up a lot. They are also directions, not destinations. When you ground yourself, you can say, “I have no idea who will enter and exit my life this year and I’m Ok. I will not be worried about who it will be or what it will look like.

I had some amazing people enter and exit my life this year. Because of this practice I was able to appreciate and enjoy them while they were present, and then be grateful for the time and lessons learned when they left.

Instead of attaching yourself to the outcome of “a relationship” choose to point yourself in the direction of being a loving and nurturing human, and then to run in that direction every single day. 

The Direction of Future Self

We all need our human bodies to be a strong as it can be in order to get us through this life. To do that, I personally  am orienting myself in the direction of my future!

This looks like  taking care of your body with proper nutrition, daily stretching, and movement You don’t need a gym or trainer to do this. You don’t even need a scale. What you need is a commitment to your future self, and you might want to be very active and mobile for as long as possible. He/She has a lot of adventures ahead! 

People, places and things can absolutely enhance your life, there is no doubt! Goals are good to have, but it’s the attitude and language surrounding them that is the kicker. Intentions and goals offer flexibility.  Resolutions imply a lack of flexibility. 

What About You?

My wish for you this year is to ditch the resolutions and embrace intentions. Turn your mind and heart in the direction of your future. 

Point yourself towards joy, love, hope, or whatever it is you desire, but then live those very things every single day. You are the only person who can have all of the qualities you desire, and you do that when you ground yourself in your human experience here on earth. 

I know you have experienced suffering. I have too.  But your suffering is an event that happened in the past, and it doesn’t have to obscure your future. Allow yourself to heal. 

You are living a story that looks so different that you imagined, and that takes compassion and courage! Make this year the chapter in which you make peace with your grief. Make this the year you find new purpose and hope, and then run in the direction of that future every single day.

Run as far as you can in the direction of your best and a happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.

Cheryl Strayed

You can do this, my friends, and I am here to help.  

Julie

P.S. This is what coaching is all about, and if you’d like to explore what that looks like for you, simply reach out to me with a simple email. My link is right on the home page.