The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But when you’ve experienced the loss of a spouse or partner, this time of year can be incredibly tough. The emptiness and grief can feel overwhelming. However, I want to share something that might help you find some solace during this challenging period – the practice of gratitude.

What Does the Research Say About Gratitude?

• Emotional Well-Being:
  • In a study published in the journal “Emotion,” researchers found that keeping a gratitude journal, where participants wrote down things they were thankful for, resulted in increased happiness and overall life satisfaction. [1]
• Reducing Isolation:
  • The AARP Foundation conducted a study revealing that social connections are crucial for coping with grief. It emphasized the importance of maintaining relationships with friends and family members during difficult times, like the holidays. [2]
• Resilience:
  • A study published in the “Journal of Personality and Social Psychology” demonstrated that gratitude can enhance resilience. Grateful individuals tend to bounce back more effectively from adversity and stressful situations. [4]
• Improved Mental Health:
  • Research conducted by Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher, indicates that practicing gratitude can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. His studies have shown that people who regularly practice gratitude report fewer symptoms of mental illness. [5]
• Health Benefits:
  • A 2015 study published in “Health Psychology” found that individuals who practiced gratitude had better sleep quality, reduced blood pressure, and a decreased risk of developing heart disease. [6]
• Relationship Satisfaction:
  • Research published in the “Journal of Theoretical Social Psychology” suggests that expressing gratitude to a partner can strengthen and improve romantic relationships. Gratitude fosters a sense of connection and appreciation between partners. [7]

How To Incorporate Some Gratitude Into Your Day

Knowing that gratitude is a powerful practice and actually doing it are two separate things, especially when you are navigating the emotions of life without your spouse. So how can you incorporate some gratitude into your day?

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel sadness and grief. Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring these emotions; instead, it’s about finding small rays of light within them.
• Create a Gratitude Ritual: Establish a daily or weekly ritual where you take a moment to reflect on things you’re thankful for. This simple practice can shift your focus toward the positive aspects of your life.
• Connect with Supportive People: Express gratitude to the friends and family who are there for you during this difficult time. Sharing your appreciation can strengthen your relationships and provide comfort, something we all need during the holidays.
• Honor Traditions: Consider incorporating your loved one’s favorite holiday traditions into your celebrations. It’s a beautiful way to remember and appreciate the time you had together.

I want you to know that you’re not alone in navigating the holidays after loss. Gratitude can be your companion in finding moments of solace and hope amid the pain. It’s like a gentle reminder that there is still some light even on the darkest days.

Gratitude is a choice. It’s a choice you make to focus on life, regardless of your current circumstances, rather than on loss and death.

Wishing you a holiday season filled with moments of peace and the warmth of cherished memories.

With care and understanding,

Julie

P.S. If you want to learn more about where the research came from, here are the footnotes:

[1] Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.

[2] AARP Foundation. (n.d.). Connecting with Others.

[3] Wood, A. M., Froh, J. J., & Geraghty, A. W. (2010). Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 890-905.

[4] Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.

[5] Jackowska, M., Brown, J., Ronaldson, A., & Steptoe, A. (2015). The impact of a brief gratitude intervention on subjective well-being, biology, and sleep. Journal of Health Psychology, 20(2), 220-231.

[6Ho] Gordon, C. L., Arnette, R. A., & Smith, R. E. (2011). Have you thanked your spouse today? Felt and expressed gratitude among married couples. Personality and Individual Differences, 50(3), 339-343.