The season of singleness, particularly after experiencing the profound loss of your spouse or partner, carries mix of emotions. Grief, loneliness, and uncertainty are often intermingled with newfound freedom, self-discovery, and empowerment. This season for widowed individuals can be a time of personal growth, healing, and figuring out who you are in this stage of life.

Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.

Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love & a Dash of Sass

There is so much BAD information around being single!! First let’s tackle the myths, and then see the many reasons it’s time to flip the script on singleness as a problem, rather than an unintended blessing..

Myth 1: Singleness implies incompleteness or unhappiness.

Reality: Being single doesn’t mean you are half a person waiting for another half to complete you. Many singles find happiness, meaning, and fulfillment in their personal journeys, regardless of their marital status.

Myth 2: Widowed individuals are perpetually mourning and cannot embrace joy.

Reality: While grieving is a natural part of losing your spouse or partner, it doesn’t freeze your capacity for joy, hope, or new experiences. Over time, many widowed individuals find paths to new joys and new beginnings.

So, what are the benefits and values of this season of singleness? Here’s some food for thought.

Self-Discovery

The primary relationship you should cultivate and understand throughout your life is the one you have with yourself. Singleness offers an uninterrupted opportunity to dive deep into self-exploration. It allows you to discover passions, desires, strengths, and areas for growth. This deep understanding of yourself will actually anchor you in any future relationships. 

Freedom & Flexibility:

Being single provides unparalleled freedom. Whether it’s making spontaneous travel plans, relocating for a job, or simply deciding on a whim to adopt a new hobby or change lifestyle habits, the single version of you operates on your own timetable.

Financial Autonomy:

Financial decisions, for better or worse, belong wholly to you when single. This autonomy can lead to better financial literacy. You learn to budget, save, and invest based solely on your own needs and aspirations.

Building Stronger Friendships:

Without a significant other to divide your time, you can invest more deeply in platonic relationships (a type of love in which sexual desire or romantic features do not exist). These friendships can be profoundly enriching, offering support, joy, and a different kind of love. Studies show a strong correlation between mental health and social connectedness.

Emotional Independence: 

Dependency can sometimes be mistaken for love. Being single provides the space to develop emotional resilience and independence. It teaches you to find happiness within rather than seeking external validation or comfort.

Health & Wellness:

With more free time and fewer obligations, you have time to prioritize your health by joining gyms, taking fitness classes, or cooking healthy meals at home. This focus on personal well-being often leads to both mental and physical health benefits.

Learning Contentment:

Finding joy and contentment outside of a romantic relationship can be a powerful realization. Understanding that happiness doesn’t hinge on another person but on your perspective and choices is an invaluable lesson.

Preparation for Future Relationships: 

If you choose to enter into a relationship in the future, the season of singleness prepares you for that. You have the opportunity to gain a clear understanding of your authentic self, establish personal goals, and develop emotional maturity, all excellent foundations for a healthy relationship.

In essence, a season of singleness isn’t defined by the absence of a partner but by truly embracing and understanding yourself. It’s a period for personal growth, exploration, and seizing the multitude of opportunities that present themselves uniquely to you. Whether you choose to stay single or enter a relationship in the future, the wisdom and resilience you cultivate now will be invaluable.

Remember, you can do this, and as always, I’m here to help.

Julie