Finding Your Big Why

In your life after loss, do you struggle with motivation, purpose and a sense of clarity? Losing a spouse or partner is one of the most difficult and heartbreaking experiences you will face. The sense of loss and grief can be overwhelming, and it can be hard to find meaning or purpose in life after such a tragedy. However, as difficult as it may be, finding your “big why” can be one of the most important steps in the process of healing and moving forward.

Your “big why” is the purpose or goal that motivates and drives you. It’s the reason you get up in the morning and keep going when times are tough. It is the thing that gives your life meaning and makes all the hard work and struggle worthwhile. For many widowed people, finding your big why can be a transformative experience that helps you to find new meaning and purpose in life.

So how do you go about finding your big why after losing your loved one? Here are some tips to help you get started:

  1. Give yourself time to grieve. The process of grieving after losing a spouse can take time, and it is important to allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come with it. Take the time you need to heal and process your grief, and don’t feel like you have to rush the process.
  2. Reflect on your values and beliefs. What is important to you? What do you believe in? Reflecting on your values and beliefs can help you to identify what is truly important in your life and can give you a sense of direction.
  3. Identify your passions and interests. What do you love to do? What brings you joy and fulfillment? Identifying your passions and interests can help you to find activities or hobbies that bring meaning and purpose to your life.
  4. Consider your legacy. What kind of impact do you want to make on the world? How do you want to be remembered? Thinking about your legacy can help you to identify what is truly important in your life and can give you a sense of purpose.
  5. Connect with others. Finding your big why doesn’t have to be a solitary process. Connecting with others who share your values and interests can help you to find meaning and purpose in your life and can provide you with a supportive community as you move forward.

After my husband died, my big why became keeping the farm going to support my family. Then, once the scar had formed over my grief, my big why, my purpose, became holding out my hand to other widowed people to lead them through the journey of widowhood. It guides everything I do, from building the website, to starting a blog, to speaking, publishing, and most recently a podcast. If my widowed people want it, then I do everything within my power to make it happen.

Finding your big why is a journey, not a destination. It may take time to identify what truly motivates and drives you, but the process of self-discovery can be a rewarding one. By taking the time to reflect on your values, passions, and legacy, and by connecting with others who share your interests, you can find new meaning and purpose in life after losing a spouse.

Remember, you can do this, and I’m here to help.


P.S. If you want to take a deeper dive, let’s connect and see how I can help you. You can schedule a call with me or send me a message here or via Facebook or Instagram @Navigating Widowhood.

Julie Martella Avatar

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