Did you know there is a hidden cost to the clutter in your life? While you may be thinking it’s in dollars and cents, it actually hits closer to home: your psyche.
I understand the feeling of overwhelm that plagues you in your life after loss. There are so many things to deal with, and some days taking the next breath is the hardest of them all. Who wants to think about their home or car or anything else? In fact, YOU do, and here’s why.
How you do anything is how you do everything. If you allow massive mediocrity in one area of your life, it will cripple every other aspect of your life.Dr. Benjamin Hardy
Let’s think about that for a moment. How you do anything is how you do everything. If you give up on one thing, you’re signaling surrender in all other areas. On the flip side, when you tackle one area in your life and elevate it to where it is pleasing to you, the other areas will follow in line. It works!
The big question is not what is the state of your home NOW, but rather, how do you WANT to feel and how can your home help you create that feeling?Julie martella
How Do You Want To Feel?
I’m asking, and there are no wrong answers: how do you want to feel? Right now you are in one of the lowest points you’ll probably ever experience in your life, and I know it’s incredibly hard, but… do you want to stay there? Do you want to wallow in the current state of your life? Are you just feeling the feelings by default?
Have you considered that there are other options available to you?
Think about your car. Think about your home. Think about the space in which you spend most of your time. Is it messy or clean? How does it make you feel when you look at it? Do you feel like you can’t breathe? Do you want to close the door and pretend it isn’t there? Or, do you feel a sense of control and contentment?
How you feel every single time you look at the space in which you live is important, because every time you look at your space you experience a feeling. That feeling becomes your reality.
Do you feel overwhelm? That becomes your realty.
Do you feel helpless? That becomes your reality.
You can begin to rebuild your life after loss by mastering even a small corner of your home environment. One positive step in one area will spread to the other areas of your life.Julie Martella
Do you feel like you have some control?
Do you want to feel hopeful about your future?
Do you want to feel calm?
Do you want to feel at peace?
Every space you reclaim and establish as something that is pleasing to you and your life, you are setting the stage to win in other areas of your life. You are telling your psych that you are worth it. Your LIFE is worth the effort and are creating a sense of intentionality in your life.
How to Intentionally Create New Feelings
You can use actions and intentionality to create new feelings. If you want to feel more in control, then DO something that makes you feel more in control. The same goes for feeling peaceful, contentment, loving, or any of the other feelings.
In the area of your home you can FEEL the new feeling by DOING the action. What are the actions that will help you feel better?
- Cleaning out the clutter in your car when you fill up with gasoline.
- Tidying the kitchen before you go to bed.
- Folding the laundry and putting it away (even one load).
- Cleaning off the counters in your bathroom.
- Picking up the clutter from your living room area.
This is how it will unfold in your life: You perform these actions, ideally before you go to bed. When you get up in the morning and look at that space you FEEL the feeling and you take a moment to really connect with it! You feel a sense of control, of peace, or “I’m worth the effort.” Every time you look at that area during the day you’ll get the same hit of satisfaction.
That spark of feeling will spread. It will make you feel that you can do the hard things. It will make you feel that you have a tiny bit of control in a chaotic world. It will make your soul hum with satisfaction. It will fortify you to continue the process of managing the logistics of life after loss.
Remember what Dr. Hardy said (and I quote him often)
- How you do anything is how you do everything
- If you allow mediocrity in one area of your life, it will cripple every other aspect of your life.
Then remember what I told you:
- You can begin to rebuild your life after loss by mastering one small part of your environment.
- You are worth the effort.
- Your life is worth your effort!
- Use your actions (tidying/organizing) in your home to create new feelings.
The hidden cost of clutter in your life is the message it sends to your psyche. Think about the messages you can intentionally send from a place of worthiness and love.
I hope this post was encouraging, and remember if you need help, I’m here.