Staying Safe When Online Dating

It’s important to think about safety BEFORE you show up to your in-person date. Don’t be afraid to date, be informed, aware, and smart! As widowed people, we are vulnerable! We are used to being in that marriage relationship with a higher level of trust and communication. It’s not in our wheel house (the things we know) to think about predatory behaviors, but they’re out there. I can organize safety into a couple of sections. This is part 2 of a three part (maybe four?) series!

Keeping Your Body Safe

Keeping Your Heart Safe

I want you to have a good time and enjoy yourself! I don’t want you to be freaked out, ok? You just need to have that back up plan in case you meet one that isn’t clicking.

This happens to men and women! One gentlemen had a strategy that I loved. This is how it went:

  1. He prearranged a phone call with a friend with the following rules: Either the man would call the friend as soon as the date was over, OR the friend would call the man after an hour and a half about “business.”
  2. He would apologize for the interruption and put the call on speaker so the date could hear it.
  3. He would tell the friend he was on a date, and the friend would ask how’s it going? If the man said, “we’re having an amazing time” then the friend knew everything was ok, and would apologize for interrupting and tell him to call him the next day. IF the man said, “she is so interesting” (or some other code), then the friend would apologize and say that they were having an emergency and was there any way he could come down to the …..
  4. The date in this situation never knew what was happening! She wasn’t offended, hurt, angered, or crushed. The date had a definite hard end if it was needed, and the gentleman knew that the worst case scenario was he was spending an hour getting to know someone new.

I hope this helps!


Julie Martella Avatar

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