Dismantling the Shrine

Did you know that many people struggle with “dismantling the shrine” following the death of their spouse or loved one? It creates a situation where organizing and decluttering become almost impossible. In fact, one of the top reasons widowed persons reach out to me is because they struggle with what to do with all of the stuff.

Do any of these thoughts ring true for you?

The truth of the matter is that moving, cleaning, boxing up, decluttering, or giving away our loved ones possessions will not make any of those thoughts listed above a reality. It’s ok.

A large part of moving forward is letting some of the things go, and in the process, making peace with the fact that our loved one will not be coming back.

Julie Martella

If you’re feeling like the universe, or God, or whatever you want to call it, is telling you it’s ok to let some of the things go, here’s a way to help you prepare for and deal with the feelings that will arise.

Here’s the beauty in the beast. Cleaning out and dismantling the shrine allows you to preserve the best that was your loved one. By removing the rest of the clutter, it leaves you with a curated collection that you can bring that with you into your new, unintended life. When the process is done, you can tell yourself things such as:

Remember, you can feel terrified AND still do the hard work of grief!

Blessings always,


I know this is a hard process, so give yourself some grace. I run a program for widowed people to help with these very things. If you want to talk just reach out. I’m here for you, and together we can get this done.

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