How to Handle Unsolicited Advice About Your Grief

October 12, 2025

If you’ve ever heard, “You should try staying busy,” or “I think it’s time to move on,” you know how frustrating unsolicited advice about grief can be. Even when it comes from a place of love, these comments can feel dismissive, overwhelming, or outright hurtful.

You don’t need to follow anyone’s advice to grieve “correctly.” Let’s explore why unsolicited advice can sting, how to handle it with grace, and how to protect your emotional space.

Why Unsolicited Advice Hurts

It Can Feel Like Judgment
Advice often implies that the way you’re grieving isn’t enough or isn’t right. This can leave you feeling inadequate or misunderstood.
It Overlooks Your Individuality
Every grief journey is different. What worked for someone else may not be helpful—or even possible—for you.
It Can Minimize Your Experience
Comments like “just stay busy” or “try thinking positively” may downplay the depth of your emotions and the complexity of grief.

Strategies for Handling Unsolicited Advice

Pause Before Responding
Take a deep breath before reacting. This gives you a moment to process the comment and choose how to respond.
Acknowledge Their Intentions
Often, people mean well but don’t know what to say. You can respond with something like:
- “I know you’re trying to help, and I appreciate your concern.”
Gently Redirect the Conversation
If the advice doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to pivot:
- “I’m figuring out what works for me, but thank you for sharing.”
- “That’s an interesting idea; I’ll keep it in mind.”
Set Boundaries When Needed
If someone repeatedly offers unwelcome advice, you can assertively set a boundary:
- “I appreciate your thoughts, but I’m focusing on my own process right now.”
Let Go of the Need to Explain
You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation of your grief. A simple “Thank you, but I’m doing what feels right for me” is enough.

Protecting Your Emotional Space

Limit Interactions with Persistent Advisors
If certain people consistently make you feel judged, it’s okay to step back from those relationships.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Spend time with those who listen without judgment or pressure. A grief support group or therapist can also provide safe spaces to process your feelings.
Practice Affirmations
Counter unsolicited advice with affirmations that reinforce your confidence in your journey:
- “I am grieving in the way that feels right for me.”
- “It’s okay to do things my way.”

Final Thoughts

Unsolicited advice about grief is common, but it doesn’t have to derail your grieving process. By responding thoughtfully, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your needs, you can protect your emotional space and stay true to your journey.

Remember, no one else has lived your loss, and no one else gets to decide how you heal.

With hope and compassion,
Julie