Navigating Work After Losing a Spouse

November 24, 2024

When you lose your spouse, the world as you know it changes forever. And yet, the world around you continues—work deadlines, emails, meetings, and responsibilities all waiting as if nothing has happened. Navigating work after losing a spouse or partner can feel overwhelming, but with some practical strategies, you can get through this transition with grace and self-compassion.

1. Acknowledge That Grief is Part of Your Day

Grief doesn’t stay at home when you go to work. It comes with you, shaping your energy, focus, and emotions. Accepting that this is part of your reality, rather than fighting it, can be freeing.

It’s okay to not be at 100%. Grief takes up space, and that’s normal. The goal isn’t to suppress your feelings—it’s to learn how to navigate them while balancing your responsibilities.

2. Communicate Your Needs

You don’t have to share everything, but letting someone you trust—like your manager or HR—know what’s going on can help ease the pressure.

Be clear about what would help, whether it’s flexible hours, a reduced workload, or just some understanding as you adjust.
Share only what you’re comfortable with. You have the right to keep your story private if that feels better for you.

Example Script:
“I wanted to let you know that I’m still adjusting after my loss. I may need to step away at times or adjust my workload temporarily. I appreciate your understanding.”

3. Prioritize Self-Care During the Workday

Grief is exhausting, and work can quickly deplete your already limited energy. Build self-care into your day to recharge and protect your well-being:

Take Breaks: Step away for a few minutes if you’re feeling overwhelmed. A walk outside or quiet time in a breakroom can help.
Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say no to optional tasks or meetings that feel too draining.
Create Comfort: Bring something small to your workspace that offers comfort—a photo, a favorite tea, or a soothing scent.

4. Set Realistic Expectations for Yourself

Grief fog is real. You may forget details, struggle with focus, or feel like you’re moving through molasses. Be gentle with yourself:

Start with smaller, manageable tasks.
Focus on progress, not perfection.
Give yourself grace if your productivity isn’t what it used to be—this is a season, not forever.

It’s okay to ask for help when needed. Delegating or collaborating on tasks can ease the burden.

5. Prepare for Emotional Moments

Grief can hit unexpectedly. A song on the radio during your commute, a coworker’s story about their spouse, or even a familiar scent can trigger waves of emotion.

Identify a quiet space at work where you can step away if needed.
Keep a comforting item with you—a small memento, a grounding object, or even a calming app on your phone.
Practice a few grounding techniques, like deep breathing or counting backward, to help you regain control when emotions rise.

Remember, it’s okay to feel—and to give yourself permission to take a moment when you need it.

6. Lean on Trusted Colleagues

You don’t have to carry everything alone. Trusted coworkers can be a source of support, whether it’s helping with a project or simply being there to listen.

Share your needs with those you trust. They may not know how to help unless you tell them.
Accept help when it’s offered—it’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a way to conserve your energy for what matters most.

7. Know When to Seek Additional Support

Sometimes, the weight of grief feels too heavy to manage on your own. If you’re finding it difficult to function at work or at home, consider reaching out for professional support:

Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) often provide free counseling.
Grief counselors and support groups can offer guidance and validation.
Talking to a professional doesn’t mean you’re “not coping.” It’s a way to honor your need for healing.

8. Give Yourself Permission to Be Human

Going back to work while grieving is not about “getting over it.” It’s about finding ways to carry your loss while continuing to live. There will be days that feel impossible, and that’s okay. Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and your healing is uniquely yours.

You are doing the best you can, and that is enough.

A Final Word of Encouragement

Returning to work after loss is one of the hardest transitions you’ll face as a widow. But you are not alone. Give yourself grace, lean on those who support you, and remember that it’s okay to take this one day at a time.

If you need more resources or a listening ear, consider reaching out to support groups, counselors, or online communities where others understand your journey.

With care and compassion,
Julie

P.S. Struggling to manage life after loss? My coaching programs help widows tackle the ‘how-to’s’ of planning, organizing, and rebuilding with clarity. Let’s create a roadmap that works for you—schedule your session today.