Updated post: After the loss of our spouse or partner, it can be quite easy to lose sight of the stars amidst the darkness. Today, I just want to inspire you to begin seeking out the positives in your life. I challenge you to start finding those gold stars in your day.

We’ve Come a Long Way Since Kindergarten

The concept of the gold star traces back to our earliest days, perhaps even to kindergarten. Remember the thrill of receiving a piece of work adorned with a gold star, or marking off tasks on a chart with those shining symbols? Those little gold stars held immense significance, akin to discovering treasure like Indiana Jones.

Fast forward to the present, and we find ourselves in a digital age where we can “star” or “heart” our most cherished moments. One simple gesture, like adding a gold star to a journaling app on a great day, can lead us to ponder: what truly makes a day worthy of a gold star?

Research into the psychology of positivity bias sheds light on this phenomenon. Positivity bias refers to our tendency to focus more on positive experiences while downplaying or overlooking negative ones. It’s a natural cognitive bias that influences how we perceive and interpret the world around us.

The Power of a Positive Outlook

Arthur Brooks, renowned social scientist, emphasizes the transformative power of positivity in our lives. He highlights the correlation between a positive outlook and various aspects of well-being, including happiness, success, and resilience. Brooks suggests that by cultivating gratitude and focusing on the positives, we can navigate through life’s challenges with greater ease.

For me, a gold star day is one where everything seems to fall into place. Initially, I believed it was the events of the day that determined its worth, but I later realized it’s our thoughts and feelings that shape our experiences. When our mindset is positive, the challenges seem more manageable. Conversely, dwelling in negativity casts a shadow over even the smallest joys.

“Only in the darkness can you see the stars.”

Martin Luther King

This rings true in our journey after loss. It’s natural to fixate on the darkness, succumbing to negativity bias. But by consciously seeking out the stars, we shift our focus towards the positive aspects of life.

Finding the positive is a skill, much like flexing a muscle. The more we practice, the stronger it becomes. It’s time to actively search for those gold stars in our day, fostering a bias towards positivity that acknowledges our struggles while celebrating our triumphs.

It’s not just about the star itself; it’s about the transformative process of rewiring our brains to recognize the wins. Learning to find the positive is like learning to embracing sweetness despite life’s challenges. It’s about uncovering those stars in the darkness.

Learn to Count Your Victories

Even on days when you feel broken, every small victory counts. Did you manage to get out of bed? You deserve a gold star! Did you navigate through the day’s challenges with grace? Another gold star for you! These daily victories accumulate, reshaping your mindset and empowering you to live with intentionality.

You have the capacity to find those gold stars in your day, and the habits you cultivate along the way will pave the path towards a life filled with pride, accomplishment, and peace.

You can do this, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.

Julie

P.S. I am so excited you can now interact with me on Patreon. The link is below, and you have the opportunity to follow, take a deep dive, or just support my mission of helping widowed people create purposeful, meaningful change.