There’s a fundamental truth about life that is often overlooked. Understanding it will be a game changer for you in a good way. Here it is!
For the most part, life is a 50/50 Split.
That’s it! About half of the things in your life will fall on the good side and half will land on the bad side. The death of your loved one, and all of the mess that goes with it falls into the bad side. The person who made you laugh today, the promotion or honorable mention? Good side of the scale. Not burning the brownies? Great!
Seeking goodness in your life will help you revive.
When you’re deep in the mess it’s hard to see anything good, but it’s there. Journaling helps. Make a list of three things that made you smile, feel a good feeling, or went well. This was taken from my notebook this week.
- Met with a client who made me laugh so hard. It felt good to belly laugh.
- Got to see my parents and they looked good (healthy and happy)
- Made dinner ON TIME, and everyone ate it!
- My daughter called from college and was super sick. In this time of Covid, I told her to go to emergency room.
- That sent me down a rabbit hole of anxiety and fear that was hard to get out of.
My daughter called late in the evening, after what had been a pretty good day. Yes, I panicked, but then pulled myself together because she needed it. Reflecting on it the next day, I could have said, that was a horrible day because my daughter…. Instead, I told myself,
“Wow, that was quite a 50/50 day!”
Repositioning the lens from horrible to 50/50 allowed me to step back from the emotions of the day and see that yes, something really scary happened, but so did something good. It created balance! It allowed me to acknowledge and feel all the emotions of that day!
Learn to use the phrase of the 50/50 day when a day flies off the rails! Find those good things to balance it with! It will help you get out of the survival mode and into the revive part of the journey.
Remember I’m always here to talk and help if possible. I’ve taken all of the tools I learned along the way and wished I had known when I was going through the process of grief and created a program called Navigating Widowhood. If you’re ready to try something different, reach out and connect and we’ll see if my program is a good fit for you.